From Your Abuser’s Inner-Child

inner child, abuse, man
(the one really in charge)

I am but a child, anywhere from 3 to 6 years old. I cannot reason like you adults do. Yes, I reside in an adult body and can perform SOME adult functions, BUT not with you. You are my most important emotional connection, and I don’t believe I can live without you.

Here are some FACTS that you may be in denial about (don’t tell your husband I’m telling you these):

I (and your husband’s subconscious system, which I reprogrammed) will do whatever I have to do to keep you from leaving me. All my threats and talk of leaving, separation and divorce are just that… talk.

You see, I use offensive talk as a defense, hoping you back down first. Inside, I’m scared to death of you leaving me.

In a very sick way I NEED you to be with me. I feed off you; deep inside, I look at you as my mommy figure, and I want ‘mommy’ with me forever.  But it hurts when mommy scolds me so I lash back at you, terribly. I am but a child.

I am a leech who feeds off your very soul.  I suck the life right out of you… for my own survival. I’m sorry, but as a 4 yr old that’s all I know what to do. But I do make sure your husband keeps his “adult mask” on; to keep you confused and others fooled for as long as I can.

By the way, even at age 5 I’ve become an expert at survival. I’ve had decades of experience, well beyond my age.  And based on what I’ve just shared and what you’ve suffered through the years with me, experience certainly trumps age, don’t ya think??

Here’s the thing, the thing I HOPE you refuse to wake up to….. I will NOT grow up nor quit until I die…. or your your husband does. I’m just a 6 year-old. What do I know about all that adult, growing up stuff… nor what do I care.

I simply care about survival – MY SURVIVAL ONLY. I’ve been that way since your husband was about my age and suffered some trauma or neglect. That’s what created me. But hey, whoever, whatever is the collateral damage to me surviving is not my concern – you, your daughter, your son, your grand-baby; your reputation, marriage, house, finances…

I MUST SURVIVE AT ALL COST… and will unless YOU stop me. You see, your husband doesn’t know how to stop me or make me grow up – I control him, remember??

Heck, I’ve got him so jumbled up inside he doesn’t really know the entirety of how bad I treat you – I keep him closed off in this area so he doesn’t wake up to the truth… I have him completely fooled.

Not bad for a 5 year old, eh??

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