Most people are aware of emotional, verbal, and physical abuse but there are actually twenty different types of abuse that can be used by someone to try to gain control or exert power over another person.
Any of these traits may be melded together or manifest as a stand-alone behavior. For instance, I would categorize myself as having verbally abusive behavior from time to time, but I wouldn’t consider myself a strict ‘verbal abuser’ because I never exhibited the main, underlying traits used to define that type of abuse such as: cursing at or degrading Teri by using derogatory names, etc.
I was able to identify with twelve different forms of abuse from this list that I used during my 30-years of sickness.
Striking, pushing, biting, choking, grabbing, shoving, slapping, beating or any other violent physical act against someone’s will.
Denying basic rights; limiting someone’s personal life; using the law to enforce power; controlling everything i.e., what lights to turn on/off in the house.
Spying or following someone; monitoring activities.
“Me Tarzan you Jane” attitude; treats victim as subservient; entitled to make all decisions.
Uses knowledge from seminars, self-help books or therapy to abuse but does not take responsibility for own actions.
Demands unusual sex acts; treats partner as a sex object; physical fixation or attacks to sexual parts of the body; forces sex anytime day or night, even awakens partner for sex.
Hostile humor; public humiliation; criticizes; degrades another on appearance, cleaning skills, cooking skills, appearance.
Makes partner responsible for everything – paying bills, cleaning, cooking, parenting, etc.
Refuses to allow medical treatment for normal health issues or following a physical attack.
Uses scripture with words like “obey” or “submit” to gain control.
Placing children in the middle to pass messages or gain information from; uses child support as a weapon to gain leverage; uses visitation rights to harass, etc.
Requires victim to stay at home; limits time on the phone; deprivation of friends; controls who is seen and when; restricts outside interests.
Puts another down; name calling; plays mind games; extreme controlling behaviors; withholds affection; causing one to lose their identity.
Threatens ending relationship; threatens physical harm; threatens to take children away; threatens suicide.
Gives allowance while controlling the money another their mate earns, restricts employment; must account for all money spent; forces someone else to ask for money.
Ruins partner’s credit; requires cars, houses or recreational property to be in their own name yet uses partner’s money.
Uses looks, actions, gestures and voice to cause fear; argues continuously.
Destroys property; punches walls; breaks down doors, etc.
Curses, name-calls, uses the past to control or manipulate; makes unreasonable demands.
Does not communicate; uses silence as a weapon; does not express emotion.